Alternative Title: Keep Digging That Hole, Yuichiro

First Aired: 18th June 1994

Worried by Rei’s long nights spent staring into the fire, hoping for an explanation of her troubling dreams, Yuichiro follows Rei, only to spot her flirting with a VERY handsome boy… who just so happens to be Haruka. Having left his brains in the washing machine, Yuichiro descends into a downward spiral of idiocy that culminates in him leaving the Hikawa Shrine… only to be attacked by a Daimohn.

After the fiasco that was the previous episode, this one goes a long way to make up for it. It’s not brilliant by any means, most of the jokes falling a little flat and some of the artwork being a little off, but it’s enjoyable.

There’s only one problem: as much as I have liked Yuichiro previously, this isn’t his finest hour.

I love the opening to this episode. At the Hikawa Shrine at night, with ominous wind blowing and music playing, and Rei chanting Shinto prayers to the fire trying to determine the truth about those visions she had about “The Silence”.

“Come ooooon lottery numbers”

We haven’t really seen Rei consider her dark prophecy since the first episode of the season. I’m glad it’s back. Nice and creepy.

…albeit not really in-keeping with the tone of the rest of the episode.

Rei is being spied upon by Yuichiro during her reading, who is in turn caught by Grandpa (good to have you back you old pervert!).

Ageing gracefully, I see

After the disturbing realisation that Grandpa is seemingly encouraging Yuichiro to spy upon his granddaughter (he makes a groping motion too – puke), Yuichiro insists that his intentions were innocent, that he is merely worried about her health.

“Dude, that’s your goddamn granddaughter, you sicko.”

Grandpa actually gets fairly philosophical for once, telling Yuichiro that worrying about Rei will do her no good, and that she’ll only stop when she’s perceived the truth of the issue she’s trying to read. Oddly caring for once.

Yuichiro completely ignores this sound advice. This guy… does not get that someone might not want to be disturbed. Oh well, at least he’s trying.

He busts on into the room suggesting tea and snacks, and Rei pointedly ignores him for several minutes. I feel sorry for this annoying loser.

“You know what your supernatural psychic powers need? CALORIES.”

…especially when Rei finally begins to perceive something in the flames, only for Yuichiro to throw her off, worried as he is about her burning her hair.

Rei gets a few good shots this episode

Rei is super nice here. Whenever she’s distracted or worried, Rei becomes much nicer to be around. I like both sides of her personality, frankly.

“If I hadn’t just seen you crumble into death, I’d be kicking you right now.”

As a parting gesture, Yuichiro leaves her a gross sweat rag with which she can tie back her hair. Such a stud. Still, his motives aren’t untoward – he is genuinely worried for Rei, and seems to have no ulterior motives.

We next go to the Death Busters’ lab to see the Professor creating a new Daimohn Egg, and I love how weird this is. Today he’s rubbing it on his face and mumbling “Gloriaaa“. He should be in Hannibal.

“This egg would go great with a side of fava beans and a nice chianti.”

Kaorinite praises his work, calling it “living art” (not always – I saw Tiren) and the Professor gets super animated. Apparently he’s rather cross that Kaorinite has wasted so many eggs.

This crazy-ass outburst might be enough to phase anyone else, but not Kaorinite, who cooly asserts that she’ll get the Talisman. 10 episodes into the series, she should have probably learnt by now.

“What’s… what’s he talking about…? Dude I’m so high right now.”

The scene ends with the Professor giving his legendary cackle. There’s something about him today that is especially disturbing. Good job! Liked it!

The next day, Rei is tired from having been up all night trying to foresee the future, which is exactly the excuse I give when I’m late for work.

Because Yuichiro adores her so much, he has obviously felt that this justifies him to stalk Rei as she walks around town. OK, dude, you’ve crossed a fucking line. She’s not yours to stalk, yeah? Back up.

Oh and suddenly A WILD USAGI APPEARS. Quite a way to make her entrance. I predict that nothing in this episode will have anything to do with her, but she’ll expertly butt in anyway. It’s why I love her.

“10,000 yen or I call the cops right now.”

After mercilessly mocking Yuichiro, Usagi cheers him on. Apparently stalking is fine by her – I mean, she’s done it herself enough times.

Yuichiro restates his innocent intentions of just being worried, and Usagi expertly switches tactic, instead suggesting that Rei is tired because she’s love-sick… FOR WHOM?

Yuichiro guesses Yuichiro.

It’s not Yuichiro. It’s never Yuichiro.

His beautiful emotions bubble forth set to “Then Spoke Zarathustra” from 2001: A Space Odyssey which gives the entire scene a rather brilliant drama. You know this is going to end badly.

This is clearly a man for whom everything will turn out great

MEANWHILE. Kaorinite has discovered trams. Aww how sweet. Seriously though, what kind of sheltered freaky alien must she be not to know what trams are? I thought she was just a freaky human with sentient hair and cleavage that could rival a small mountain range.

“I have no idea how I even dressed myself this morning. I only found out about clothes 2 weeks ago”

Anyway, I rather like the sight of her riding a tram. She gets the idea to inject the Daimohn Egg into it, thus being able to test a large number of people for Pure Hearts at once.

Speaking of which, Yuichiro most definitely doesn’t have a Pure Heart (my theory is that he’s actually a murderer hiding out in Rei’s shrine), and he’s just spotted Rei shamelessly flirting with a very handsome man.

They’re a handsome couple, I shan’t lie

OK that was only mostly correct. Rei is flirting with Haruka, whom Yuichiro thinks is a dude. I’m actually a little worn out by this Shakespearean gender-confusion, but seeing Rei and Haruka shamelessly flirt with one another (and make no mistake about it, they are definitely flirting) is still good.

The best moment is when Yuichiro stares at Haruka and mutters, “I lose.“. Damn straight you do. Haruka is a bloody sexual predator of these teenage girls.

This. This is youth. I know.

What Yuichiro doesn’t see as he stumbles off is Rei pulling his gross-ass sweat-drenched dirt rag out of her bag and using it to tie her hair back. Evidently we’re meant to interpret this as Rei having genuine affection for the idiot.

It’s a rather sweet look, to be honest.

Another great shot of Rei. She knows how to pull off that helmet with the disgusting sweat rag.”

At study group, Rei has fallen asleep, dreaming that same dark dream again. She’s worse than Usagi.

The only one who seems genuinely concerned about Rei is Makoto, oddly enough. I love it when she’s all perceptive and stuff. She goes out to talk with Rei, and offers her support to whatever it is that’s bothering her.

I like this moment between them. Throwaway yet oddly comforting. We need more of these types of moments.

“I’m so glad we dressed up like we were going to a ball. Makes study group that much more fancy.”

Yuichiro is still upset, and has gone for a run, where he spots the most beautiful sight in the world:

Michiru playing the violin in the park. In the middle of the night. Yes, this is a lovely moment, but… what? Well, far be it from me to question what the hell she’s doing.

Who cares why she’s playing in the park at night, it looks darn cool

Yuichiro hides as Haruka appears, and seeing the too of them sharing a curiously intimate moment, presumes that Rei’s boyfriend is cheating on her. Head -> desk.

By the way, the conversation Haruka and Michiru are having is rather interesting. Haruka, uncharacteristically, is having a pessimistic moment of doubt, and Michiru stresses that the “new awakening” will arrive soon. What this refers to is left unsaid. HRMMM.

The pattern of each of them losing confidence in turn is getting sliiiiightly repetitive

And yeah, Haruka and Michiru totally look like they’re about to bone down – mainly because they totally are. This is the most… lascivious we’ve seen them so far. I found this actually incredibly romantic.

Yuichiro doesn’t see it this way, however.

That’s… unmistakably lascivious

Despite the fact that the previous night was completely clear, Yuichiro waits until it’s nice and thunderstormy to call Haruka out to an abandoned lot for a fight.

I hate this. This is the dumbest thing Yuichiro has ever done, and it has nothing to do with him fighting a girl or mistaking gender. It’s about his arrogant and condescending belief that he has the right to physically assault people in a matter that does not involve him.

Here’s Yuichiro charging directly into the patriarchy

It’s emblematic of a patriarchal and utter anachronistic chauvinism. Now, I’m not suggesting that Yuichiro is a chauvinist, He’s normally sweet and supportive. This decision, however, is dumb and uncomfortable.

Anyway, Yuichiro is a complete dick to the bemused Haruka, who then proceeds to have to teach Yuichiro a lesson merely by dodging out of the way of each of his shitty attacks. This is so sad.

Yuichiro’s favourite cry is “THIS IS ADOLESCENCE” (it’s a Japanese thing), which is uses while flopping around in the mud. I’m not sure that’s strictly true, Yuichiro.

This, too, is youth. I know.

Rei -just so happens- to be walking by in time to tell Yuichiro to stop being such a fucking moron (my words) before running over to Haruka.

The look on Rei’s face is terrible and frightening. It looks so genuinely hurt and angry. Great job here. Man I’d hate to be Yuichiro right then – he looks like a total tool.

This is actually powerfully uncomfortable, as their exchange is silent to Yuichiro. Feels so bad

Yuichiro gives an ill-advised speech, “Tenoh Haruka, you’re a two-timer, but you’re probably a very masculine guy. Stop hurting Rei like this and break up with that other girl.“

“Your penis is undoubtedly several times the volume of my own.”

You. Are. A. Moron.

Rei’s face actually causes me pain in a way I can’t quite explain. It’s such hurt disappointment of the worst kind.

This makes me feel really bad about myself, and I’m not even the one she’s looking at. Call it empathetic guilt

Rei refuses to go after him, naturally.

At the shrine, Makoto runs over to tell the girls “Something horrible has happened! Come quick!” I bet it’s something lame like Yuichiro announcing that he’s leaving forever.

Oh that’s totally what it is. See ya dude. It’s not like your family is super rich or anything. Grandpa most definitely does not give a shit.

Yuichiro obviously picked this moment for maximum dramatic effect, running past Rei as a horrible Japanese ballad comes on.

“I was waiting for 2 hours in the bushes to leave, just so everyone could try and stop me”

All that Rei can say is “Idiot. Yuichiro, you’re a fucking idiot.” I couldn’t agree more. (OK, I added the cursing.)

“Fuck ooooooooff!”

Usagi tries to convince Rei to go after him, telling her that Yuichiro loved her from the bottom of his heart, and despite the fact that this is all melodramatic drivel (and the writers know it, hence the corny and horrid ballad), Rei has an incredibly raw and believable moment:

“Then why!? Why didn’t he believe in me till the very end!?“

…probably because you weren’t actually going out, he had no expectations of your “loyalty” and you were totally hitting on a super-hot androgynous person…?

“I mean, I only made out with Haruka, like, twice.”

Usagi forces Rei to run after him anyway. Do these girls ever study?

This whole scene of Yuichiro walking to the station would be entirely awful if it weren’t for the absurd screeching, emotional ballad framing this clearly as satire on the genre of Japanese love dramas (which are fucking awful by the way).

Looks really dramatic right? The music is ABSURD. Turns it completely comic…. yet doesn’t quite work

Rei spots Yuichiro just has he boards a tram train.

Hey hang on a minute, haven’t we heard something about tram trains earlier on in the episode?

“Hrmmm… you’d think I’d be surprised by this, but this is like the 7th time I’ve been attacked by a monster.”

Well yes. This Daimohn is called Toden and she’s been waiting for anyone with a Pure Heart to turn up. It just so happens to have occurred right in front of Sailor Mars. What poor luck.

This Daimohn is a bit boring actually. Something about her design is just a little… uninteresting.

I called her uninteresting. All these psychotic monster designs must be desensitising me

Rei transforms into Sailor Mars and is ready to kick ass, but promptly gets her ass kicked as Koarinite takes the Pure Heart of Yuichiro and Toden starts whipping her about.

“Well that ended quickly. Think I’ll just write Yuichiro off as a lost cause.”

Luckily, the other Senshi actually followed Rei (to snoop. I bet it’s to snoop) and Toden is left to take an extraordinary amount of time to lay down tracks and transform into a train to attack.

While strangely bland, Toden does have one great line, which is “THE NEXT STOP IS… THE AFTERLIFE.” I don’t know why I chuckle at that one.

“Oh hang on, we’ve got a 20 minute delay due to signalling problems at Mile End.”

Sailor Mars proves that she’s not going to be completely useless today after all, and freezes Toden before she can run them over with an Akuryo Taisan (demon-warding spell). So far this series the Inner Senshi have been almost entirely outmatched in every single battle.

“HERE! Here’s my ticket. It’s a child’s ticket. I’m 14, you know.”

A Burning Mandala sets the poor Daimohn on fire (Sailor Mars is a sick sadist, remember) before Sailor Moon puts it out of its agony with a Moon Spiral Heart Attack.

Well that seemed unusually cruel. She was already frozen, Sailor Mars

It’s another case where Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune haven’t even bothered to lift a finger. I guess they figured that there was no way in hell Yuichiro was going to be the bearer of a Talisman, and they’d be right.

Speaking of which, newly restored Yuichiro wakes up on a bench, his head in Rei’s lap. That’s pretty sweet, actually. Lucky bastard.

“DON’T LOOK AT MY PANTS. DON’T LOOK AT MY PANTS.”

Rei manages to convince Yuichiro that the monster was all a dream born from a concussion that left him in a coma for several hours and he buys it. This isn’t the first time he’s obligingly believed her, what with the Grandpa monster, the Snow-Lady and that time Koan tried to burn him alive. I think he might actually have problems.

“Yui brain hurt from repeated concussion. Who you again ?”

Rei pointedly ties Yuichiro’s cut with the gross infected cloth she’s been carrying around, obviously to give him septicaemia, then mentions that Haruka is a lady, which means that her flirting was totally ok and she’s definitely DEFINITELY not gay (she’s totally gay).

I feel like Yuichiro got off too easy for being an idiot.

The episode does end rather sweetly with them walking home, however, so I’ll give them that. YOU WIN THIS TIME, SAILOR MOON.

“Oh by the way, I rented out your room to another homeless guy while you were away, so you’ll be sharing with Stabby Jules for the next month.”

NEXT TIME: Minako finally has enough with being given shitty stories in her episodes and quits, right before she’s given an amazing episode Seriously though, love this next one.

Episode Score: 3/5 (Good, not outstanding)

Monster Score: 3/5 (Toden lacked pizazz, but had a couple good moments)

Final Thought: I think Rei could do better. Sorry, bro

Published by VK

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